“Don’t Break The Chain” (Permission to Brag)

Why does the “don’t break the chain” method work when you’re building habits?

There are a few reasons.

First, you get attached to your progress, and don’t want to see it reset.

Even after just a week, the thought of starting over can be agonizing. After one hundred or three hundred days, you know that if you miss a day, it all starts over. And that means months or a year or more before you get back to where you are now. At least in terms of the chain.

That can lead to doing the minimum justifiable amount of work required to convince yourself you kept your habit going. Which may sound bad, but is actually really good. Because it helps you beat the dips.

Second, it carries you through the dips.

Everybody has dips.

Most people give up when they happen.

You know who they are. They’re the people at the gym for some of January. And then you don’t see them again until the next New Year. They’re the people who always start diets but never manage to lose weight. They’re the ones who occasionally get back to writing that novel they like to talk about.

And you know why do it.

Because you’ve felt the dip too, even if you didn’t give in. The feeling after they have gotten so far on a project or a new habit where the thought of working on it again just makes them sick. Or they just don’t notice the dip, but realize a month later that they stopped writing every day. They haven’t worked on their side business in weeks, and can’t remember what the next step would be anyway.

And let’s face it, in some area you have given in to the dip.

I have.

“Don’t break the chain” can help. It’s not foolproof. You have to get attached to your chain. But once you are, it gets a lot easier to at least do something.

And when you do something, you keep momentum going. Oftentimes, you build momentum. So that tomorrow it’s a bit easier to “just do something” and so the something you do is bigger.

The dip may last a while. Or it may be quick. But if you don’t break the chain, you’ll come out of it with momentum, and feel so much better when the spark and motivation come back.

Because they will, and you’ll be able to welcome them with no regrets.

Third, it gives you bragging rights.

I’m now have a chain 593 days long for my habit of daily planning.

And it feels damn good to say that.

Yes, I’m bragging. If I wanted to I could also brag about planning most days for well over 6 years. But it’s much more fuzzy. Sure parts of those 6 years had long chains too, but never 593 days.

The chain makes your bragging concrete.

And really, it’s not just being able to brag to others. In fact, it’s not even mostly about that. It’s the sense of satisfaction that comes from knowing you’re changing, becoming a better person, one link in the chain at a time.

Fourth, it becomes part of your identity.

As you can imagine, after years (and 593 days) of daily planning, it’s part of who I am.

Sure, I could stop tomorrow. But I would feel incomplete. I would feel like part of me died.

Part of my identity is that I live a deliberate life. I write down what I’m going to do. And then I do it, mostly.

I have other habits with “chains”: exercise, floss, journaling, reading. I want those things to become part of my identity as well.

And I don’t mean that flippantly. When a habit becomes part of your identity, it fundamentally changes you. You become a different person. You are born again. It’s profound, and people will notice the difference, especially those you don’t see as often.

If you weren’t a deep, profound change, you wouldn’t feel like part of you died when stopping.

A caution

Given that, it pays to be deliberate about what habits you add to your life. Because they will change you.

It also pays to add them slowly, one at a time. Trying to add too many habits will mean you’re trying to change your identity in multiple ways at once. And that is a recipe for either serious stress or just giving up and failing.

So take it slow, take your time, and enjoy the ride.