Whatever you think of Jordan Peterson, his 12 Rules For Life is a good example of someone taking the time to lay out the principles by which they believe a good life is lived.
And so, I’ve started doing the same, with plans to share my X rules for life with my kids, as they go back to school this fall.
And no, before you ask, the first rule is NOT plan your day.
They’re a little more high level than that.
How to find, discover, create, and crystallize your rules
Reading others’ rules for life, whatever they call them, can be really helpful, especially when you’re young. You’ll pick up rules from your parents, from teachers, from coaches, from other role models, from stories, from movies.
They often won’t be very well defined, at least not in your head. Maybe fuzzy concepts like “Be Honest”, without any real understanding of what honesty is, or what it looks like in myriad different situations.
At some point, as you grow up, you will naturally solidify those fuzzy concepts in your mind. Even if you don’t make them explicit by writing them down, the experiences you have will teach you how you define something like honesty, or courage, or any other principles you value.
And it may be that it never gets much further than that.
I’m finding that making your rules for life more explicit has two real benefits.
First, you can share them with others easily.
For me, that means I can share them with my kids.
But it also means you can share them, at some level, with work associates, friends, potential marriage partners, really everyone. That will lead to more defined, respectful relationships.
Yup, people respect you more when they know you live by a code.
And beyond that, by sharing them, you will find like minded people to develop deeper relationships with.
Second, crystallizing your rules for life will make it easier for you to make decisions.
Easier to say no to things you don’t care about, but that are distracting or tempting.
Easier to say yes to hard work towards something you value.
Easier to weigh two good choices and pick the one that will really bring you happiness, because it’s in line with your principles.
Of course, not everything can be verbalized. There will be parts of your personal code, your mission, your vision, your rules, that just can’t be expressed in words.
But the effort you make to do so will reap rewards.